Addiction
Addiction doesn’t have a universal definition. It varies greatly from person to person. The way I see it, addiction is a learned behaviour where a person uses substances or engages in activities compulsively, despite harmful consequences. It goes beyond physical dependency, encompassing emotional and psychological aspects that drive the behaviour.
Addiction often develops as a coping mechanism for deeper pains, unresolved trauma, or unmet emotional needs. It signifies an internal imbalance, a way to seek relief from underlying issues that need attention and healing. This learned behaviour becomes a cycle, with the addictive actions temporarily soothing but ultimately masking the true sources of pain.
For many, addiction becomes a compelling option because it addresses multiple facets of their life: it numbs past traumas, distracts from present unhappiness, and eases anxiety about the future.
My Experience With High-Functioning Addiction
I contended with high-functioning addictions while upholding a successful facade. Much like a swan gliding gracefully on the water’s surface, I appeared calm and composed. Beneath the surface, I was paddling furiously to stay afloat. My addictions were a way to cope.
Adopted at three months old, I often felt out of place. Despite having a loving family, knowing my birth parents gave me up left me feeling unworthy of love. When I was 18, my Mum passed away from cancer, and the grief was overwhelming.
To cope, I turned to cocaine, alcohol, porn, and dating apps, which offered temporary relief and a false sense of connection. But, they masked deeper issues, making me feel more isolated. Working in a job that didn’t fulfil me added to my dissatisfaction. I felt trapped in a career that didn’t match my passions, increasing my sense of purposelessness and fueling my addictions.
Initially, these addictions seemed like a refuge, but I realised they were hiding deeper issues. Through therapy and self-reflection, I learned to listen to my pain and understand its messages.
The Solution
Overcoming addiction involves resolving past traumas, changing present behaviours, and designing an exciting future. It’s a ground-up rebuild of your identity.
Addiction often stems from unresolved trauma and past pain. By addressing and healing these wounds, you free yourself from the grip of your past. Men’s Transformational Therapy and self-reflection help uncover and resolve these deep-seated issues.
Present behaviours maintain the cycle of addiction. Developing healthier coping mechanisms and habits is crucial. This involves recognising triggers and finding constructive ways to handle stress and emotional discomfort.
Creating a future that excites you is key. When you have clear goals and a vision that motivates you, self-sabotaging behaviours become less appealing. You focus on what you stand to gain, making it easier to leave addiction behind.
By rebuilding your identity from the ground up, you move beyond your old self and start the journey of becoming who you truly want to be.