Understanding Trauma
Trauma isn’t just about what happened to you. It’s about how it changed you on the inside. It’s not the event itself… it’s how it made you feel, shaped your beliefs, and affected your sense of safety and connection to others.
Trauma lives within. It comes from experiences that leave a mark on your mind, body, and soul. It shapes the way you see yourself and the world around you.
Big “T” Trauma vs. Little “t” Trauma
When most people think of trauma, they picture “Big T” trauma. These are significant events that shake your world, like abuse, a serious accident, or the loss of a loved one. These experiences can instantly change your life and leave a profound impact.
But there is also “Little t” trauma, which is just as important. These are smaller, everyday events that can still leave a lasting effect. Being bullied at school, feeling neglected by a parent, or even moving to a new city as a child can all be sources of “Little t” trauma. Over time, these experiences can add up, creating a feeling of disconnection, insecurity, or anxiety.
Everyone has trauma in some way. It’s not just about the “big” events. It’s about the moments that made you feel unsafe, unworthy, or alone. And these experiences stay with you. They shape how you react, trust, and see yourself.
My Focus on Abandonment Wounds
I have a particular interest in healing abandonment wounds because I know this pain well. I was adopted at three months old and later lost my mother to cancer at 18. These experiences left me with a deep sense of abandonment and led me into addiction as I searched for a way to belong and escape those painful feelings.
Abandonment is a powerful type of trauma. It happens when you feel left behind, unloved, or rejected. And it’s often hidden… you might not even realise it’s affecting you. But it can show up as insecurity, fear of rejection, trouble trusting others, or feeling like you’re never “enough.”
My healing journey wasn’t about running from this pain - it was about facing it, feeling it, and understanding it. This is why I focus so much on abandonment in my work. It’s not just something to “get over” but to learn from and integrate into who you are.
Healing Trauma: Abandonment and More
Healing trauma, and especially abandonment, is about understanding what happened inside of you. It’s not just about looking at the past but seeing how it’s shaping your life today. Trauma can leave you feeling constantly on guard, emotionally numb, or afraid of getting close to people.
In our sessions, we’ll explore how these wounds manifest in your life. Whether they stem from feeling abandoned as a child, losing someone close, or being emotionally rejected, we’ll work on understanding and healing those experiences.
What to Expect in Sessions
When we work together, we’ll take a simple, step-by-step approach:
Identify the Wounds: We’ll find how trauma shows up in your life today. It could be patterns of insecurity or fear.
Talk to the Wounds: We’ll have open, honest conversations with the parts of you that feel hurt. This helps build trust and understanding.
Integration and Growth: We’ll work on turning these wounds into parts of your identity that bring strength, not pain. The goal is to make your past a source of resilience.
If you’re ready to understand your wounds and grow from them, let’s take this journey together.